Saturday, August 30, 2008

My Lifetime story

Thursday, August 28, 2008

My Lifetime story

Current mood: accomplished
Category: Life

Life is so strange- I have had a very emotional week this week and have been all over the map. I am not sure what the root of the misery and drama was but I am not a fan and just wanted it to pass. When I feel like that its like a thick wet blanket is drapped over me and I am just trapped until it passes. I think for the most part the cloud has lifted. Not that things are all ducky now but at least I feel like I can breathe now.

I had a business lunch yesterday with a group of people and afterwards one of the attendees grabbed me and asked if he could learn more about my story. I had to go then but he called me later and I gave him the whole saga (this all started cuz I mentioned this blog and how I was recording my little adventures for friends and family ). He didn't know most of it (of course) he only knew about what he could see- the weight loss. When he learned about the rest he told me something really sweet and touching. He said he thought what I am doing is very brave and he even said as I was talking he got all choked up. Then he said he thought I was so inspiring.
It may sound strange to anyone that his comments really stunned me. I am able to step outside my own situation and I know if I heard my own story told to me by anyone else I would probably feel and say all those things. I would feel sympathy but also pride at the accomplishment and just the stones it takes to battle all that stuff. But its me, and its my life and I am in it 24/7. I am never not thinking about my brother, my family, my weight, my legs....not to mention the normal stress of work and bills and all that other stuff that makes up people's days. My head is so full of all that its nearly impossible to really hear and accept the feedback that I am inspiring people. Its what I hope for of course, and part of why I am sharing this all. I want to show the world that I can and will make something good happen from my brother's death and I want to show my nieces and nephew that you can change your life at any time with the choices you make. Even when you have screwed up for so long you can draw a line and say from this moment on I will make a different choice.

So I accept the very humbling compliment that I am inspiring (although there is a long long road yet to go) and will continue to fight because that it the choice I am dedicated to for me and my family.
And btw....I totally want Valerie Bertonelli to play me in the Lifetime version of my story!

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