Saturday, August 30, 2008

I’m coming home, to the place that I belong

Thursday, June 05, 2008

I’m coming home, to the place that I belong

Category: Life

Thanks for the support you are all giving. There are so many things going on right now I feel like I am on the brink all the time of losing it. I keep thinking that if one more thing goes wrong I am gonna flip out...then one more thing goes wrong. The frustrating thing is so much of what is going on is beyond my control (i.e. insurance issues, mortgage issues) and I am doing 1000% of what is in my control to fix it. I keep telling my family (who is struggling just as much) that all we can do is keep our heads down an keep moving forward and hopefully, at some point, we will find ourselves out of this dark bleak forest.

I gotta tell you, I feel like a total ass for bitching about how tough life was after I left Jobing and was going through the lawsuit with them. Hell, those were the good ol days! Piece of cake. Who knew it could, and would, get so much worse. I had really hoped that half way through this year I would be on track and things would be humming along. Not happening. But I do think there are some critical pieces in place and will be good long term. My job right now is to support my family and be there for them as much as I can, stick to my diet so I can keep losing weight so I will be here for my family and everyone who loves me for a very long time and do my job to the best of my ability (so I can pay for all of the above). Those are my priorties and in that order.
I go to weigh in today and then I will be flying home for the burial of my brothers ashes next week. I am hoping to be down 50lbs by then. I am glad to be going home to see my family but I am so dreading this trip. I have no doubt it will be a very painful trip but hopefully some good will come of it. I am planning on getting another tat to commemerate the trip. I am gonna get a kanji (strength) on the back of my neck. I think that will be a good anchor for where I am at, what I have gone through and the work I still have to do....I need to be reminded everyday of the strength I have, the strength I can give my family and the strength I will need to keep moving on.

Again, thanks for the love. The comments are great and I see those who just pop in to read this so thanks for the silent love and support too.

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