Saturday, August 30, 2008

The Jared Effect

Monday, April 14, 2008

The Jared Effect ....or "Why you are never gonna see MY fat pants.!"
Current mood: annoyed
Category: Life

I am not one to blame the media for much. I don't think tv brainwashes us (much) and I don't think video games and cartoons cause violent urges in teenagers. Mostly I think its just people who fuck things up. Plain ol' simple people. I do however know that the media helps to paint a picture. Some are pretty and glam and are meant to make us buy cars and perfume and food. But some....some images are meant to make us hate ourselves.

I am gonna pick on Jared for a minute, you know Subway Jared. Mr. Fat-Pants himself. His pants are so famous they now have made them a frickin LOGO. Fat pants as a LOGO! wtf!!? Does no one else think this might, just might send a negative message to those of us still IN our fat pants? Don't get me wrong- yay Jared for walking your ass off and choking down god knows how many yummy Subway sammiches. Kudos to you, really, but I swear everytime I see those pants a bit of my heart breaks.

Why, do you ask? Why would fat pants make anyone mad or sad. The times you see them they are unfurled like a flag proclaiming that whoever used to own these pants is now FREE, Free I say! It's a happy moment, a moment of celebration right? Then after the "revealing of the fat pants" there is always an inspiring interview to ask the ultimate question: HOW DID YOU DO IT?

Ok, up to this point I am good. I would be totally fine with the entire fat pants reveal except for always comes with this little "p.s." this little story is attached to those pants that goes something like this...Some girl or some guy sits on some couch and proceeds to talk about themselves as 2 people. "Old Me" meet "New Me", "New Me" see how awful and unhappy "Old Me" was? See that sad person full of pain hiding behind that tree (or pillow, or handy family member) that person is dead and gone and now its just "New Me!" I am sooo glad that Old Me is gone and I am never ever gonna be that person again ::pan to look of horror on the speaker and proud nods from the audience, perhaps one person who used to have an Old Me as well brushes away a tear of recognition:::

You know the scene, you've seen it a million times. You'll see it a million more. I don't begrudge anyone their moment of triumph or their 15 mins to tell their story but why does everyone feel the need to disparage and hate on the person they were? That is what sends the bad message. Everytime someone tells that story the message is crystal clear. Fat people are bad. Not only bad but pathetic, unworthy, unloved, unsexy, and most of all...unwanted. By anyone. ESPECIALLY themselves.

Guess what? That bullshit is NOT TRUE. Yet fat folk by the millions find those interviews cringe-tastic because while you want the answer to the magic question- HOW DID YOU DO IT?- you have to take the beating with the self esteem stick to get the story. Why do people think hating yourself is gonna motivate anyone? It's only when you love yourself that you have the strength to pull off such a herculean effort, and lets face it- it is. It's not easy or fun and for damn sure someone (the media/society) will be at every corner just to let me know how unworthy I am now but if I renounce the OLD ME and just embrace the NEW ME I will finally, oh god FINALLY be admitted to that cool club. The one where the hot guys hit on you. The ones where you don't have to size up how many stairs you have to walk up. The one where you don't have to look and see if there are only booths you'll have to squeeze yourself into (pardon my muffin top tummy on the top of the table here, I am fine I swear) or bring out the mental tape measure for the chairs with arms and estimate how much of your ass you can cram into the chair and how much overflow there will be.

I like me. I like the me that exists right here. today. I have worked very hard to become the person I am today and I am OK with me. I hereby promise the ME that exists right now that I will never put you down or hate who you are. I love you and you are JUST FINE. You never needed to change to please anyone. You made a choice to change one thing about yourself and while of course, you will change as the result of this new life experience/journey you will always be part of the ME I will carry forward with me. Whoever I will become, I never could be with you.

And most of all, no mater what happens I will never EVER show your Fat Pants to anyone.

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