Monday, July 28, 2008
Hate this sooo much
Current mood: bitchy
Category: Life
Seriously- I don't want to just jump on and write something everytime I am in a shitty mood but I guess that is the "dear diary" nature of a blog so here goes....I fucking HATE this shit. I am over it and I don't want to do it anymore. I feel like a fucking mummy all wrapped up all day and night. I very much plan on getting laid in the near future and what do I have to offer? A body that looks all deflated (especially in the ta-ta area- proof that god has a wicked sense of humor is you always lose weight first where you never want to lose it) NOT to mention these mumified legs.
The daily rountine is hard enough but today I tried to wear the compression garments to work- I wore them yesterday while I ran around and aside from being fucking hot (my legs felt like pigs in a blanket) it was ok. So I waxed and glued my legs into them again today (so NOT kidding about that btw) and sure enough- by 10am I was in searing pain again from where the left one was digging into the newly healing skin. So I had to make the 30 mile round trip to drive home, re-wrap the bandages I had taken off that morning and wrap up my left leg again.
It sucks!!
It sucks!!
It sucks!!
It sucks!!
It sucks!!
It sucks!!
I could go on but you get my drift. It's too much to take and I want it just to be over. And the worst part is I feel like I deserve it. That this is my punishment for not taking better careof myself all along. And by that I mean the weight plus not getting this checked out back when I first noticed it. My go to "ignore it and it will eventually go away" tactic failed me once again....go figure.
Arrrrrrrrrrrggghhhhhh!! I just want to scream and smash something. I HATE THIS. I don't want to be strong or fight or even deal with this anymore. Oh wait, I don't have a choice. Great! Perfect! So I am stuck....story of my life.
Oh well....
PS- why do I never hear from all you "lurkers"? I see you read these but you never post anything? Come on, speak up. I want to hear from you...anything!?
Hate this sooo much
Current mood: bitchy
Category: Life
Seriously- I don't want to just jump on and write something everytime I am in a shitty mood but I guess that is the "dear diary" nature of a blog so here goes....I fucking HATE this shit. I am over it and I don't want to do it anymore. I feel like a fucking mummy all wrapped up all day and night. I very much plan on getting laid in the near future and what do I have to offer? A body that looks all deflated (especially in the ta-ta area- proof that god has a wicked sense of humor is you always lose weight first where you never want to lose it) NOT to mention these mumified legs.
The daily rountine is hard enough but today I tried to wear the compression garments to work- I wore them yesterday while I ran around and aside from being fucking hot (my legs felt like pigs in a blanket) it was ok. So I waxed and glued my legs into them again today (so NOT kidding about that btw) and sure enough- by 10am I was in searing pain again from where the left one was digging into the newly healing skin. So I had to make the 30 mile round trip to drive home, re-wrap the bandages I had taken off that morning and wrap up my left leg again.
It sucks!!
It sucks!!
It sucks!!
It sucks!!
It sucks!!
It sucks!!
I could go on but you get my drift. It's too much to take and I want it just to be over. And the worst part is I feel like I deserve it. That this is my punishment for not taking better careof myself all along. And by that I mean the weight plus not getting this checked out back when I first noticed it. My go to "ignore it and it will eventually go away" tactic failed me once again....go figure.
Arrrrrrrrrrrggghhhhhh!! I just want to scream and smash something. I HATE THIS. I don't want to be strong or fight or even deal with this anymore. Oh wait, I don't have a choice. Great! Perfect! So I am stuck....story of my life.
Oh well....
PS- why do I never hear from all you "lurkers"? I see you read these but you never post anything? Come on, speak up. I want to hear from you...anything!?
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