Sunday, September 28, 2008

By Popular Demand -or- over 1000 served (and counting)

By Popular Demand -or- over 1000 served (and counting)

Current mood: blah

Category: Life

Yes it's true my public has been clammering for a new post, all Tracey all the time is what the public wants and who am I to deny such a simple request? Ok, so it was one person but demand has to start some where right? (and thanks Jenn :) )

It's kind of an odd thing writing this blog for y'all to enjoy. Myspace does me the favor of letting my know how many people have clicked on (and presumably read) my blog and that number is 1104 as of today (if Blogger has the same feature I have not found it and if I have missed it please someone let me know). It has been a great tool for me and writing is good for me (and hopefully entertaining for you). I do try and mix it up because when I transfered this to blogger I re-read a lot of postings from earlier in the year and if I ever needed proof my life is nothing if not an emotional roller coaster I have hard core evidence now. I really do have plenty of "up" moments, which I try to share as equally as my "down" ones but you guess which ones will draw me to the computer to write it out. I also need to be inspired to write. If you are curious about my "creative process", you know artiste that I am...I usually come up with the title first then use that as a jumping off point. My titles amuse me immensely.

Right now I am having a "blah" moment. Actually, that's not exactly right. My thoughts are "blah" but I am going through some deep thoughts in the back of my mind so the rest of the chorus that makes up my many inner voices have kind of gone silent. Ergo, not so much to write about since things in my head are on simmer right now. Not sure if it will lead into anything but that is where I am at.

So the boring updates-which even I get sick of thinking about and reporting all the time. I mean, I know the main purpose of this blog is to keep my friends and family informed and educated about what is going on with me but every so often I do get a pang of "c'mon, who really give a flying fuck about all this/me??" So there, my ego does have limits. Who knew?
Ok, ok...the updates: I have a "light" week at my weigh in and lost 2 lbs this week for a grand total of 112lbs to date. I knew it would be light, I can always tell. I know it was because I was way out of my routine this week. Remember when I asked you guys (talking to my Phx peeps here) to invite me out to be more social? Well no one replied (thanks- heh j/k, kinda) but I did have a dinner with a client (which went well) and a networking event where I reconnected with a good friend (hi Derek!) so hopefully we will be hanging soon. Then I had something Thursday night too which I forget right now....anyways I got thrown off my schedule of getting home, doing my leg therapy, eating dinner, rolling my bandages, wrapping my legs....all by 8pm so my legs have a good 8 hours wrapped to keep the swelling down. Well, none of that happened this week. I got it all done but usually not until after 10pm and that caused my legs to puff up ergo cutting into my weight loss. Catch 22 of wanting to do more....welcome to my life eh? So right now my legs are super puffy but I have had more of a social life than I have in the past few weeks. Worth it? Sure, why not. And as long as I keep loosing every week (and not gaining anything!!) I guess I am ok.

The other semi-interesting news is I am going to start yoga classes. I have been thinking about it for a long time and I asked a client of mine (who's wife owns her own yoga studio but its way far away from me -Desert Ridge) for referrals and there is a studio a mile from my house. They have an intro series that starts Oct 7th that goes for 6 weeks so yesterday I signed up! I am nervous and excited. This will be the first exercise class I have ever been in- outside of gym in high school (oh the horror of remembering being forced to run around the track having to heave my body forward inch my inch while my classmates jogged by with pity in their eyes, oh yah, I felt the stares). I know I will look a fool and it will take awhile before I can do everything but I am excited to get started and have had several indications/validations that is was the right thing for me to do right now. Much more on this later I am sure.

So that's me as of right now. I hope all 1104 of you (let's be honest, half of that was prolly me re-reading what I wrote) have liked what I have put out there for you and I really love comments so please leave me your thoughts/feedback cuz I'd love to hear it all.

And Downward I come. And I apologize in advance to the poor person who gets stuck behind me. :(

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Weird Science

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Weird Science

Current mood: thoughtful

Category: Life

Hi campers! I am finally feeling better after having a nasty cold. I haven't really been sick like that in forever so I am glad to have kicked it.

I am becoming my own science experiment. You know, a la putting the pototoe on the window ledge with toothpicks and watching it sprout roots? Only I hope to not be found there forgotten and all smelly and rotten after everyone forgot all about me...wait, where was I going with this? Oh yeah...the changes in my body are fascinating, at least to me. I can't tell you how odd it is to experience these changes so slowly but consistently. I know things are changing a little bit everyday but it seems like all of the sudden you notice a whole chunk of things at once. And the fact the treating my lymphodema is ongoing and I can never know for sure how much of what I am seeing changing is due to straight up weight loss or fluid loss from the lymphodema. I guess the net result it the same since they share the same space (my body). I do know that because of my lymphodema I am probably hyper aware of my body, much more so than if I was just dieting. There is just something about feeling yourself up for an hour a day that makes you a little more aware of where all the lumpy bumpy bits are.

::for those just tuning in as part of my ongoing therapy for lymphodema I have to wear compression sleeves on both my legs and an 8 chamber, gradient, sequential pump basically squeezes the built up fluid in my legs up and out. While this is happening I have to massage my upper lymphatics (neck, armpits, tummy and groin) to stimulate the lymphatic system -cuz mine is broken- to push the fluid into its normal paths and be eliminated through the normal channels (yeah, there is a lot of peeing in my life now, fun eh?). Basically I knead my tummy like its a big wad of pizza dough and I do this for an hour everyday, usually when I get home from work.::::

I have noticed the biggest change in my tummy and thighs. They are very much looking like deflated balloons. I am doing everything I can do and read about how to tighten loose skin but I am gonna have to warm up to the idea that a nip/tuck is in my future. Hopefully by this time next year I will totally have the body I want. But in the meantime my tummy is starting to look like a fallen souffle. It is sunked in and getting wrinkly. Don't get me wrong, I am happy to see I said, it is fascinating to see the progression. I am also starting to see some curves and less oval shapes. My office mate yesterday pointed out a bit more hour glass-ness to my shape and said my tummy area is really starting to flatten out. I guess I have carried the weight I have packed on over the years pretty well cuz even the girls at the clinic have said they wouldn't have guessed I weigh what I do. Good ...I guess?? It was cute, yesterday I got weighed (every Friday except for Dr. weeks then its Thursday) and my girl Crystal (pic in my gallery) was like "god, what are you doing??" ummm, the diet??!! I guess lots of people cheat and flux a lot more than I have. I have always lost every week. One week it was just one pound but then the next week I will have lost 6 or 7 lbs. Oh...and my new updated number is 110lbs.

And along those lines of sticking to a new/better way of thinking and without getting into a full blown rant about how the world (food industry specifically) is basically poisioning us with things we don't need and are making us all sick (another day) I wanted to give a HUGE endorsement for a book I found (2 actually). They are by David Zinczenko and Matt Goulding and the title is "Eat This, Not That" (there is one for kids to). It is amazing and the info will blow your mind....stuff like at fast food restaurants most of the time the burgers are lower in calories than the fish or chicken. And at Outback, their cheese fries are 2900 calories for one order. It is crazy....I totally recommend picking them up.

I am still obsessed with my arms. They are changing the least in my opinion and it is frustrating. Now that I am so deep into this it all just feels like a race to get to my goal...or that could be me watching too much reality tv. I do want this to be done with as soon as possible. That is not to say that this will ever be over for me. I was talking to the girls at Smart for Life yesterday and there is a guy who has a pic posted on the bulletin board there wearing a t-shirt that said "Down 100" and they all signed it. (I made them swear they would not do that to me- who wants to have to wear a 2x shirt that says down 100...wait until I am a bit closer to goal) and they said he gained 50lbs back and is now back on the diet. I really do know that this is how life will be for the most part for the rest of my life. I think my relationship with food is finally shifting. I really do think of food as fuel now and not entertainment or as an emotional crutch. I was thinking about hamsters and how they eat those little pellets everyday and never think, wow...can I get some ketchup for these, they are a little dry?! Food is meant to put gas in the tank and as far as you want to go is how much fuel you need and no more. If you are going up a huge hill then fill 'er up. If you are sitting idle in the garage, you don't need much in the tank. This is really huge for me and I am committed to sticking to this way of thinking. Its sad to know that no one in the whole world neeeds snickers cheesecake cuz it is sooooo wonderful but it is true. And its really really hard to know that all that time I was thinking about how much I wanted to lose weight and make different choices it was a lie. I didn't really want to change anything and I always had the power to stop and change. It's like Dorothy and the ruby slippers, she had the power to go home the whole time. I have had to power and ability to change my life this whole time but allowed....whatever.... to make different choices for me. That's tough to come to grips with...its really hard to look in the mirror and know you really don't want what you are telling yourself you want because if you really did want it, you would move mountains to get it. I can want to be happy or thin or wealthy all I but unless I know what will make me happy (also not easy to figure out) and then put maximum effort into doing it then I am never gonna be and will only make myself miserable telling myself a lie over and over again. It's a total trap and one people waste their whole lives in.

So I leave you with this thought...from me to you. What do you say that you want but are doing nothing to change it -and- what are you going to start doing differently to get the things that matter to you?

Love you all

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Behind the curtain

Sunday, September 14, 2008

Behind the curtain

Current mood: scared

Category: Life

Loneliness....the subject keeps being brought up to me. The very fact that I have been avoiding thinking about it is a pretty big clue that maybe it is time to get out the mirror and figure out what it means to me and why I get so defensive if asked about it. The people who have asked about loneliness have been in entirely different sectors of my life - maybe that means something, maybe it doesn't. I don't know.

The one person who I was speaking to accused me of lying to him, well not lying exactly but putting up a "false front". He is someone who I have been on the fence about whether or not I would want to date and so I was encouraging him to think of "us" in more casual terms.Well I got what I wanted because now he is traveling and is dating this chick in another city. I may not have wanted him but I certainly don't want anyone else to have him while I ponder the question and when I tried to explain this girl logic to him is when he said I gave him the impression that I currently have a full dance card of potential suitors so why should he wait around for would be a good point if it were even close to being true. (and the oscar for best actress in her own life goes to....ME!) The truth is that while I was a dating slut in Chicago (ohhh, the stories I could tell) since I have been in Phoenix I have not dated at all. In fact, the "dates" I have had since being here have all been recycles (aka- ex bf's) except for the gentleman I am referring to in this conversation. I even resisted when he first asked me out which was not-so ironically the day before I started the diet because I have been so deepin hiding mode. Since I have been in Phoenix I have locked down that part of myself totally. He took me out for my "last supper" the night before I started the diet and was (and has been) very supportive of my diet plans ever since.

So, why have I kept myself walled off? And I should point out that it is not just romantically that I have kept to myself. I have done it with friends as well. I do have a group of good friends here in Phoenix but I don't go out with all that much, and if I do it is usually one on one and never a big "night on the town" group thing. So why is that? In college my apartment was ground zero for fun. My bf Janet and I would have tons of people over at all hours and we were known as social butterflies. What changed? And I should say that it is all my fault, I never make myself available or indicate in anyway that I would want to get together or go out. Totally my fault.
The truth is- I am terrified of being alone that is my biggest fear and what makes me tremble even right now writing it. Before Troy died he was reaching out and talking to me (and my sister) more than he ever had in our whole lives- we had conversations that lasted for hours and that is what I learned about him. We shared the same fear of being alone. It probably came from our parents divorce (no judgment- just an it is what it is thing) and he took it one way and I took the same fear another way. His way of dealing with that fear was to take what he loved the most and built high walls around it to never let anyone else in -or out- of the world he built and when that world was threatened (whether it was real of percieved) he couldn't handle it.

I took that same fear and I internalized it. I slowly started cutting people out of my life and not letting people get close to me so they could never hurt or disappoint me. Can't leave me if you never get close. Haha- aren't I clever? And didn't being overweight serve its purpose then? The bigger I was the fewer people wanted to get close to me- both friends and potential men. I knew people were judging me and I used that to my advantage. If I am deadly honest with myself I had been on the long slow suicidal path for years. I knew I was killing myself with my weigh and I remember vividly having that thought and thinking, well good then. It will save me the trouble later. That is why Troy actually doing what I had been trudging towards so slowly for so long was the wake up call for me that it was.

Now here it is months into the "getting my life on track" plan and I have disocvered something and this is the kicker- I may have fogotten how to be social. I think I still have some game in the dating world cuz I was someone able to get my confident swagger on with the boy (who knows where that will lead but I am open and that's a start). Now I just have to figure out how to not oversell it and find that right person who can give me what I need while I am still going through all these changes....will it be him? I don't know but I do know I am more open to it now that I ever have been. So me help myself. Please feel free to start asking me to party. I do want to go and even though I may still come up with a thousand excuses not to go I really do want to be asked and get back out there. Put me back on the list to be asked and don't let me back down. I may look all put together but see through the lie and help me help myself.

When I was talking to the gentleman in this story about all this I kept using the phrase "letting him look behind the curtain" a la the Wizard of Oz. Now you have all had a peek. It ain't pretty - in fact its dirty and scary- but at least it's honest and that's more than there has been for a long long time.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Never Forget

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Never forget

Current mood: grateful

Category: Life

I wanted to take a time out to honor and remember all those who are among the fallen on 9/11 and for those who continue to serve and protect our freedom, liberty and our very lives.
I vividly recall sometime in the week following the tragedy feeling the stirrings of something I had never really felt before- patriotism. I am proud to say that I did become a patriot that day and that feeling has never left me.

I am sure we all have a thousand memories and stories that we can share of that day (and will probably be sharing with coworkers and family all day long) but the thing that stuck with me and that I'd like to share with you is when all the tv shows started coming back on air. I caught Letterman's first episode "after" and he made a small speech instead of his usual opening jokes. He was talking about the images that are forever seered into our hearts and minds and the all the people and the sheer bravery that happened that week and he said (I shall paraphrase) "I don't know anyone in this city, or even country who isn't afraid right now but I believe now is a time for courage...and the definition of courage is being afraid, but doing it anyway."

As a personal favor I would like you all to click on my profile and click on the video "The Fireman's Prayer". My brother Troy would be happy to have you look at that (as it is posted in his memory) and help him, me, all of us send our prayers (or whatever is it you chose to do) to those who have fallen, those who will fall but mostly for those who will always be standing to protect us all.

We will never forget......

Saturday, September 6, 2008

There’s no place like...

Saturday, September 06, 2008

There’s no place like...

Current mood: nostalgic

Category: Life

I miss my family. I am sitting here in my condo with not a ton to do and this weekend if my hometown's big celebration. It's called Pufferbilly Day's (ok, the explanation...a Pufferbilly is a type of steam engine and my hometown -Boone, IA- is a railroad town). Growing up it was always semi-lame and rumour has it not much has changed but it was still something you looked forward to and would tend to see random people out and about that you did not see on a day to day basis. I miss that about a small town. When I go out I rarely will run into anyone I know and for the most part that is what I like about living in a city. It was the same feeling when I lived in Chicago. You could just roam around and be invisible. But somedays and sometimes it is nice to swing into the aisle of the grocery store and see and old friend from High School. I have been getting some "out of the blue" invites from myspace and facebook of old classmates (I am guessing a delayed reaction to our 20th High Scholl reunion) so I think that has had me thinking about life back home as well. I can't imagine living my life there now. So much has changed for me yet I am still glad I came from a smalltown. When I do come back I am always saddened how it all seems the same, yet when I see any little thing that has changed my first reaction is that it should have stayed just as I left it!

I also am missing my family so much right now. With my "big" announcement I want to celebrate with the people who mean the most to me and while I have posted and sent pics it is not the same. I am jealous that everyone lives so close by each other- even though it was my choice to move so far away. I keep thinking about the flight home after Troy's death and how it was the most single painful experience of my life. I was drained emotionally, tired to the point where my whole body ached and was pretty hysterical and a sobby mess the whole way. I am actually kinda shocked looking back on it I even managed to catch my connecting flight. I felt like each mile I flew away from my family was a cold dagger twisting and twisting into my heart. And at that point I felt like there were only teeny shredded bits of my heart left. I decided too late that I wanted someone to pick me up from the airport and couldn't reach anyone so when I got off the plane it was like I had died and left my soul back in Iowa.

I want to go hang with my sister and play Toni-Oke (have to experience it to know). I want to grab my cousins and go shopping. I want to grab my nieces and nephew and go to a movie (Aunt Tracey night). Or I want to sit in my Dad's living room and listen to him go off about politics for hours and hours. I want to go over and see my Grandma and have her tell me stories about when she grew up because we don't know enough about our own history as a family and she will be gone sooner than any of us expect. I want to pick up my brother and go driving around the park at midnight like we did on restless summer nights when he was young- singing songs on the radio and adding our own crazy antics to them. And I want to go see Troy's grave and talk to him and explain how it hurts everyday that he is not here and I can't imagine that there will be a day when my heart doesn't break all over again thinking about him.

I love and appreciate my family all so much and I will totally call them out here (beloved family members who are reading this) because you guys have the chance to do all that stuff and soooo much more everyday and you don't!! That kills me. I'd give anything to have you guys come out here (Toni and Dave will be here soon- yay!) or be able to just hang out with each of you. You all live in the same town (or close) and you don't!?? I don't get breaks my heart and its wasted time.

So my hometown family and me a favor and leave me a note from home. Tell me what you love about Boone (or your own hometown for everyone else) and please know I miss you soo soooo much.

xoxo T

Friday, September 5, 2008

I lost a what??

Friday, September 05, 2008

I lost a what??

Current mood: excited

Category: Life

So were you on pins and needles waiting for my BIG announcement? What do you mean no? Your life isn't all about me?? Interesting....

So after 5 full months of being on the Smart for Life diet I have crossed a BIG milestone and have now lost 102 lbs! I am very excited about it and at first thought I would downplay the whole thing cuz, let's be honest, I still have a waaaays to go. But I did think about it and if I were a friend of mine (which I guess I should be my own friend eh? wow- that's deep) I would be proud and want to congratulate them and help them celebrate the moment!! I have always told people that its good to be "even keel" celebrate the victories, mourn the defeats and then get over it and move on. This is the moment to celebrate and I will enjoy it.

So to answer the question "how do youuuuuu FEeeEEEEEelllll!!!?" As squealed to me by so many...well I will now report that yes, I do feel a difference. I had started walking for 20-30 mins a day when I first started this diet but complications from my lymphodema made that messy and painful so I have not been exercising since. Yesterday I decided to take a test stroll on my lunchbreak (since I don't eat and am now broke as a joke so I can't shop). I set out on the path I had blazed 5 months ago and I remember getting a bit winded pretty quick into then but pushing myself anyways. This time I walked twice as far, twice as fast and did not find myself winded. Sweaty...but it is AZ and s104 degrees so that might explain that...but not winded!

I also have many times, like so many, got a call on my cell on the drive home and once parked I would usually sit in my car and finish the convo because if I walked up the 2 flights of stairs to my condo while I was talking on the phone I'd be breathing too hard and I didn't want people to hear me wheeze so I'd just stay in my car until the call was done. Just today I trotted up the stairs while talking and was fine. Seriously, that would not have happened 5 months ago.

I am hopeful that I will be able to get out and start walking some more- especially as the heat breaks here. I don't dig the whole treadmill thing. It feels very "stuck on in the hamster wheel" to me so I am looking forward to walking outside in the cool AZ air (wishing it to be true sooner than later). I do need to invest in an iPod (I know, I am the last human to not have one) so I can jam while I cruise around. I'd like to maybe even start hiking and take some pics while I stroll!

I'd now like to introduce a new weight measurement that I have come up with as a visual for what I have lost so far. This new measurement is called a "Patti". Not a beef patty (mmm) or a pat of butter, or my personal fave- a pepppermint patty (minty fresh!) This new weigh measurement is approx 100 lbs and is based on my lovely counterpart at work. I have lost what she weighs total!! Please see my new pics for your viewing pleasure to compare (and you can also look at the one of me in the purple sweater which was taken Feb 07). So I have now lost a "Patti" and only have one more "Patti" to lose before I hit my goal weight, piece of cake!!

I also want to thank all you guys for your support and for reading along and sharing my adventure. I do hope you have been amused, angered, saddened, inspired and have celebrated and cried right along with me- I know you have because I have felt it. I love you all so much and please keep hanging with me while we work through the rest of this journey!!

Yay!!!!!!! I DID IT!!! Fuck yeah!!!!!!


Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Score one for me...make that 2!!

Tuesday, September 02, 2008

Score one for me...make that 2!!

Current mood: triumphant

Category: Life

Remember last week's drama of the mean ol therapist who told me I was no longer a patient at the lymphodema clinic and that I would have to wait a few weeks to "get put back on the list"? Well....I had my appointment today and the GREAT news is a) my therapist did not charge me for the visit (yay!) and b) her solution worked perrrrrrfectly!

What she did actually took less then 5 mins so that would have been a very pricy $40 visit if she had charged me. She ended up doing exactly what I was thinking would be the solution (yeah, that's right I am ready for my M.D.!) which is to place a bit of foam over the area the compression garment was digging into. She also gave me some stuff to put over the sore on the left leg which is not healing as quickly as the one on the right. She did say that there is no infection so my using a whole tube of neosporin on it seems to have done the trick. The hard part is squeezing this foam underneath a garment that is designed to constrict in and not allow extra stuff inside. THAT should be good, good fun tomorrow a.m. when I have to do it myself. I must admit it is pretty comical to watch 2 middle age ladies squat on the floor at your feet pulling and twisting this stocking up my leg.....oh wait, I am having flashbacks of that awful "My Big Foot" TLC show . Nevermind. (ick) all my cleaning frenzy glory I did not mention my trip up the mountain to Prescott, AZ on sunday. It was about 20 degrees cooler than Phoenix was (70's) but it was still humid.

***Special note for trivia fans.....Prescott is the home of the real clock tower from the movie Back to the Future (got that McFly??) I tried to take a pic but there was too much stuff in the way (damn trees).

Anyways....there is a festival there (a la Pufferbilly Days for all you Boone folks- for all you non-Boone folks I don't have the time to explain what a Pufferbilly is or why you would care about it even if you knew) called "Fair on the Square" and it's where I got the cool blue necklace that so many people have complimented me on- more than any piece of jewelery I have ever owned! So I loaded up on some new bling! I even picked up a few fashion rings which is odd cuz I am not a huge "ring person" but I found 3 super cute ones and when I asked for the "charming customer" discount she gave me one of them for free!! Yay!!

Sooooooo universe...let's go to the BIG BOARD. You won last week's round (I will give you that) but so far in September it's Tracey 2 Universe 0.

Suck it Universe...mmmmwwwwhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaa!!! (evil laugh)

uhhhhh, unless the Universe is listening which in that case I am totally kidding and I would never ever mock the all consuming power of the Universe and its ability to make my life hell as evidenced by the past, well 38 years! Love ya Universe- props to ya bro!! (chest pound followed by flashing the "V"...I saw that on Mtv!!)


Monday, September 1, 2008

Alice ain’t got nuttin on me

Monday, September 01, 2008

Alice ain’t got nuttin on me

Current mood: hyper

Category: Life

Such a cleaning frenzy is going on at my house today I have officially scared myself!!
Here is a list of what has happened thus far:

  • all glass cleaned (coffee table, end 90'2 must replace soon) and mirrors
    all surfaces dusted

  • reconsidered how dusting does not kill germies so all surfaces then scrubbed with Agent Orange cleaning stuff

  • bathroom sinks scrubbed and chrome stuff windexed (and then also rescrubbed with germ killing stuff)

  • toliet cleaned- outside scrubbed then Clorox toliet wanded (all wands= good)
    while rummaging cleaning supplies I forgot I had found a toliet tablet, bleachy thing so chucked it in the bowl

  • all counters in kitchen scrubbed (now fully into the swing of the cleaning thing using the Agent Orange stuff first!! haha!)

  • Comet-ed the kitched sink.....smell reminds me of getting punishments as a kid and being forces to clean.... :::ding:::: THAT's why I hate cleaning!! **** note to parents- beware!!
    cleaned out microwave (aka- the box without which I would surely starve)

  • :::glanced at stove:::: another day my friend

  • scrubbed top of stove

  • cleaned tray thingies the burners sit on that catch the crumbs and spills

  • LIFTED UP THE HOOD OF THE COOKTOP and cleaned under there (did not realize you could do this until well into my 20's, sad but true)

  • swept floor in kitchen and bathroom (would have mopped aka Swiffer wet-ted it but sadly out of floor mopping stuff)

  • folded and put away laundry that was done on sat just not hung up (this is actually unusual, I am usually v. good at putting stuff away)

  • changed sheets

  • took out 2 bags of garbage and one bag full of plastic water jugs (I buy the 1 gallon jugs)

  • Febreeze-d all soft surfaces

  • lit my oil burned and am now enjoying the sent of "sweet pea" all over my house (from White Barn- LOVE this stuff,just ordered 5 bottles of oil so will never ever run out of it)

  • may or may not complete the frenzy with vaccuming...still deciding although now running out of steam

Seriously- I mean I know its my house and all and no one evere gives out "Congrats, you cleaned you own home!!" awards (although they should) that is a heck of a list. I even used up many items and even have a list of replacement cleaning supplies I need to buy! (yes, I have on there "oven cleaner" I'll get you next time!!)

And for the record- No I am not for hire

:::damn, now I need to re-do my nails:::::