Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Tonight's word.....


So what is on Tracey's mind tonight? Hmmmmm well isn't that always a great question??


Gratitude


That is tonight's word...


There is no denying that times are hard. I am working 3x's as hard as I ever have and I am currently making half of what I did just 6 months ago. But you know what? I am grateful. I am passionate about my job and am so lucky that I have found a profession that fits my core values and I can live what I feel is most important everyday. For those of you who have never heard/read/been quoted my mantra it is this...by the master himself Zig Ziglar: "You can get everything you want in life if you just help enough other people get what they want." Is there anything more important than that? If there is I'd love to know.


Recruiting enables me to create a win-win-win scenario between my clients, candidates and me. It takes a partnership and when it works it always feels a little magical to me. So do I dread making those 200+ cold calls I have to pound out before I get even a sniff of a job order I can work on? Oh yeah....but its worth it and I don't want to do anything else.


I have been fired 4 times in my career now and most of the time (frankly) I can trace it back to my big frickin mouth and speaking my mind but you know what? I am grateful for each of those occasions because it pushed me out of my comfort zone and I learned the value of my own voice and that I am happy to sacrifice a paycheck over not saying what I feel is right and true. Fuck em if they can't handle it. As I have mentioned before the company I am with now believes in me and supports me and I can literally tell my boss anything and I get heard and respected. Its wrong there is no line on my W2 where I can pencil that in but it is priceless to me. And the rest? Well sales is high risk/high reward and if I am the recruiter I say I am I can, will and must create the income I need to do the things I want to do and live the life I deserve to lead.


My family...


They aren't perfect. We are a band of broken and busted misfits. We are loud and crazy and have deep deep closets that you just don't want to open and I am grateful for each and every one of them. Each has written a chapter in my story and I would not be me without the content they have given me. Good, bad and lots and lots of in-between. I am soooo excited to get home it 2 weeks and hang with my motley crew. I love them love them love them.


My body...


Is farrrrrr from perfect but it is perfectly mine and I am grateful for it. Yeah, you'll have to remind me I said this later but for today I celebrate it because it got me this far dammit. It had every reason to revolt long ago but the good vessel that it is it carried me until I was ready to stand up and carry it for awhile. Of course carrying it is kind of like holding a pot of spaghetti without the pot....things tend to ooze everywhere but whatev.....this to shall be healed in time.


My friends....


What a spectacular group of hot messes I have to love and who love me back.Each one beautiful and fabulously flawed in ways that make me proud to know them. I am so lucky to have such a dynamic group....I feel like I could spread them all out on the floor all around me and bask all day in the fabulous light they bathe me in. Lucky me.....truly and honestly.


My boy....


What can I say.... I have been blessed with having someone new in my life who likes me. Who gets me. Who wants to be with me and talk about silly things and important things and things that will happen in the future and why not help each other build that life so we can play even more and talk about even more silly and serious things? It is like watching a bubble float on the air. It seems easy and carefree but it is taking all the effort of the wind to keep it aloft and the trees are protecting it and the sun is shining on it just right. It is new and shiny (and who doesn't know by now how much I adore new and shiny??) and fragile and strong and solid and transparent. It is refreshing and I feel like I deserve this. I have earned this and it is mine for the taking as long as I remember that it needs to be earned everyday and like the bubble that it is it can never be gripped too tightly or boxed or caged because it will burst into a thousand droplets. It just needs to be allowed to float free and happy and go where it is supposed to and all I need to do is enjoy how pretty it is and trust that the wind will do its thing to help keep it aloft for a long long time to come.....


My life....


It is fucked up and a mess but it is what I have created and ergo it is perfect. If its not I have only myself to blame and I am the only one who can fix it. It is the progression of so many tears and scrapes and challenges and victories and set backs and comebacks and .......it goes on and on and the cool thing is that at the end I will get to write my favorite lines at the end of my own story.....and she lived happily (gratefully) ever after.....cuz I will.


So take stock and count you blessings, even if they do not seem so, cuz this is the only life we got kids. Let's make it count.

No comments: