First off let me apologize to my readers.....you will be pleased to know I have already written "I will not go so long between blogs eve ever again" 1000 times on my chalkboard (oh yeah, I went old school- that is how dedicated to you all I am!)
I have to admit something to you....I am sooooo excited to come home for my birthday party. Its gonna be a blast to see all my hometown friends and of course my family. We are gonna play in the park and have some kick ass karaoke (but from now on it will be called Tonioke- you'll understand why later). We will laugh and I am going to treat myself to some long overdue treats such as the following items....
I will consume for the first time on over a year and a half some if not all the following items:
a diet pepsi (used to drink 4-6 cans and was totally addicted)
a piece of birthday cuz......let ME eat cake!
a cheeseburger (it may be turkey but I LIKE turkey better.....but cheese, oh how I have missed you my friend)
an adult beverage (oh yeah bitches, it is ON...I figure 2 sips should put me under the table)
one of my sister's deviled eggs (only my sister's will do- accept no substitute!)
and other items I may add at my discretion....cuz its MY DAY!!!!
So that's all cool and good and exciting and not what I need to admit to you.....
What I need to admit is.....I am scared. I am so nervous about this trip. Excited? Yes,very excited. I have been thinking about it and planning this since January (please consider that fact as you consider your rsvp....no pressure). And the truth is I am so scared I won't live up to your standards. I hope to see a ton of my peers/classmates and let's face it...we may very well have grown up but when we are all together it will be 1986 all over again and nothing will matter more to me that what you guys think? Am I pretty enough? Am I cool enough? Have I done enough with my life to impress you? And for those of you who have been reading along all this time and supporting me.....what if I don't live up to my own hype? What is my transformation isn't dramatic enough and not what you expected? I don't want to let anyone down and as much as I know I will get a ton of love there will be that part of me that weighs and measures every glance wondering what you are really thinking......cuz we all know I never was -nor never will be- one of the cool kids. I was always cool with the cool kids but I never quite master balancing at the top of the popularity pyramid that was Boone High.
So hometown.....I come back to you humbled, proud and very very scared. I love you all and I hope this time you love me back!