Sunday, May 17, 2009

Fabulously Flawed

Am I the only person who has started thinking in "status updates"? At any given time of my day I have a mental subtitle of what I would type as my FB status at that moment. I think it is a pure gift that everyone does not express those thoughts at every moment. I have followed some people on Twitter who believe me, their every thought does NOT need broadcasted to the world. For me its part of my writing process- to the extent that what I do could be called writing and have anything close to resembling a process.

I will come up with a "status" if you please and if it sticks in my head and I feel like I might have something to say beyond the headline that is usually what ends up here for your enjoyment- making the big leap that anyone does actually enjoy reading this :)

This blog has tipped over to the point where I am aware that there are indeed a few people who I don't share DNA with -or went to high school or college with- that are reading this and following the crazy bouncing ball that is my life (btw, hello thanks and wlecome!). That is so cool and so weird at the same time.

So ....lord know I have an ego or else I could never put my story "out there" in the land of cyber space for all to enjoy. Without an ego I would never be asking and encouraging people to promote this blog to your friends and extended network to see if my story appeals to anyone else and help me grow this audience. I fully admit to this is for very selfish reasons. It is my plan to turn this blog into a book so I can pay for the plastic surgery I need and them hit my ultimate goal of looking good naked.

I don't care what anyone says- that is the only reason anyone ever really wants to lose weight....blah blah blah get healthy, feel good- whatever! Yes I want those things but they are merely a bonus of the real end goal which is to look good naked. Period.

And don't think I won't be happy to show everyone what that looks like when I reach that goal. I have nudists in my family so I ain't scared.....(ok, 2 of my ex boyfriends who read this are cheering and everyone else is saying- PASS!!) Just consider that offer to be on the table. Heh

I really don't mind sharing everything about this experience because while I was on the sidelines kicking tires that is what I needed to know. I wanted to know how you get started, what you do once you raise your hand and say "I am ready" what you do one you hit that first milestone. At what point does it get really hard? What are the challenges? What do you know about how to do this that I don't know??

Those are only a fraction of the questions I have and now that I am 210lbs down I have a zillion more....

What happens when I hit my goal? What does a life of maintaining my weight look like? What else should I be doing now? Will I ever get surgery? Will I have to live with this floppy body forever? Can I live with that? What are my options? How can I make it happen? What will life look like for me like 5 years from now? Will I ever look good naked? Will I find love? How long until this part is over? What comes after this?

OMG, I forgot to mention this before but I totally had a dream that I was on a make-over/dating show a la the Bachelorette where I had 25 guys to date and none of them knew I used to be 418lbs. It was crazy!!

So that is why my ego does this blogging thing and I am totally upfront about that but I do truly hope that everyone who reads this gets something out of it. I love how fabulously flawed people are and I believe that every single one of us has a story that would break your heart if you ever knew their tale. I am just putting mine out there. Nothing I have done is earth shattering or heroic. The only life I have saved is my own and yet I know from losing Troy the power of ripples. What I don't know is how many lives I can affect, even if its only for a moment, with my story. And its not even my story that matters, its what my story connects within each of you that matters. If anything you see or hear touches your heart and speaks to you in some way than it was worth getting out of bed that day.

Ok and now you know what a free form brain dump looks like in my world. Before I sat down at my desk I didn't even know I had been thinking about all there ya go.

Go out today and tell one person a story you have never told anyone before, see what ripples you can create.....

No comments: