So I didn't take down my dating profile...I decided to keep it up and while I have not been focusing at all on dating I thought I'd just keep the tip of my toe in the water juuuust in case. I may yet rethink that.
This guy emailed me and asked if I could overlook the fact that he smoked. When I listed my preferences I had said no smokers. I told him that everything is negotiable and as long as he didn't smoke in my face I didn't really care. So we started texting back and forth and then he asked me to call him during my lunch hour. I don't really take a lunch hour but I grabbed a few minutes from my day to chat. It was a quick conversation and I was in a groove so I was pretty high energy. It was a good little convo and when I told him I had to run and he asked if he could call me that night, of course you can.
Here is what I learned about him: 36, on the portly side of things (not judging of course), has a 12 year old daughter, lives with his mom and sister with his kid. He is unemployed and divorced and stated (and I quote) "has dated HUNDREDS of women in the last 4 years".
I clearly am running to pick out china at this point- wouldn't you??
Anyways, after our convo he sends me a text and says he feels "totally lucky" and was blown away by our convo. Cool right? So I couldn't reply other than a quick "thx, ttyl"
I get home and do my normal routine and he texts to ask if he can call at 9pm. Points for manners and politeness, yay! I say sure and right on the dot he calls. We chat for a bit and he is turning out to be less savvy business guy (my type) and more Larry the Cable guy (very NOT my type) but I am happy to roll along and give it a chance.
I asked him about the being "lucky" comment and he said he just couldn't believe how well spoken and sexy and confident I sounded. I asked why he was so shocked and he said that based on my picture he expected something else. I asked him to clarify and he said.......
(wait for it)
He said he couldn't believe it because I look HOMELY based on my pic....
ummmmm, excuse me??
I asked him what that meant exactly and he said "oh you know, quiet, bookish, professional....you know homely".
OK, I don't know about you but that is NOT what that word means to me and is for sure NOT something any man should ever ever EVER call a woman. I was rather stunned and kinda just wrapped things up and said good night.
:::points to me for not freaking out right then and there::::
So the next day he texts me and I ignore because despite my "cool chick" vibe and I utterly, totally OBSESSED with that word. Homely....it runs over and over again in my head on a loop. Now I know I am many things and the list of adjectives is long to describe me fairly. I even know (well aware actually) that I am not everyone's cup of tea, and I am OK with that. But never, in all my life have I ever been so low as to think that I fall into the HOMELY bucket! E V E R!!
So I call him....
Actually I leave a message and say "Hey there, its me and I wanted to give you another shot at explaining that word to me because if that is really what you think I am not sure why you would want to go any further and we can just say g'bye now. If that is not what you meant here is a chance to clear the air and move ahead".
Good right? Mature, calm and very nice of me to even give him a chance to 'splain- if I do say so myself.
He calls back "Why are you tripping?"
?????? ME??? wtf.....
Ok, I am not tripping but this is your chance to strike that awful word from the record. He then launches into another explanation of how is HIS world that word means "professional, boring, quiet" and he thinks I am very cute but still kinda homely looking. I explain AGAIN how bad that word is and tell him to take a poll of his female friends and get back to me. He agreed and wrapped up that convo.
Then he starts texting me all these FREAKY things...do you like this, would you do that, have you ever considered "x".....fill in the blanks with the weirdest shite ever and you still won't be close.
I pretty much ignore all these and move on.....clearly this guy is NOT prince charming and I have almost forgotten him until......
Today. I get a text "letting me down" because he feels I am not a good match for him. He really really wants a 3some and he just didn't feel like I was into that idea enough to move forward and until he has one that is all he is focused on....
Good luck with that dude.....I am OUT!!!
Couldn't make it up if I tried......