....and I DIG that about her. Note to self- the next time I feel like punishing myself and just throwing myself head first into the icy curve that life throws me have Pink blaring in the background. She is just so perfectly flawed and broken. She makes the same mistakes over and over and for all the same reasons and write 1000kick ass songs about how fucked up she is....and which became the whip I snapped across my own back as I hit the treadmill tonight.
Ahhhh but let me back up....
First my day started with several very doom and gloom "the end is near" type emails from my boss the upshot of is that I am probably going to be making far less money soon. For those of you not in sales I won't bore you but make a note to never ever be 100% commission. Just sayin... so I had to deal with that and closely related to that convo was having to call my best client and possibly ruin a very profitable relationship with them over a 16k invoice. Great.
Then I had 3 meetings set up 2 of which canceled and one I had to cancel.Why did I have to cancel you ask? Oh because of FUCKING UPS is why....I am seeing a VERY important friend/client tomorrow and she lives pretty far away.What she ordered from me is IN the UPS box which was delivered Thursday, not home- Friday- not home....so I get a notice saying it would be delivered after 5pm today. OK fine, I cancel my meeting for 5:30 and leave work early to race home because it is critical I have this delivery tomorrow right? Right. So I get home at 5 pm ON THE NOSE and there is that FUCKING tag on my door. I flip.
I run inside and track the mother fucker and now I must ask you- in what part of the world is 4:55 AFTER 5PM?? AND I missed them by less than 5 mins? Are you KIDDING me? So I call the UPS location 5 TIMES so I can make sure someone is gonna be there before I hauled ass to get out there and even though their hours are 8-6 NO ONE ANSWERS THE FUCKING PHONE!! Sooooo guess who has to be LATE to work tomorrow (you remember work? the place that wants to pay me less for more work?) so I can get this FUCKING box that I should have had today if the FUCKING UPS driver knew how to tell time. I just pray that poor bastard got home in time to watch Dancing with the Stars of whatever else was so FUCKING important he couldn't wait 5 mins.
Oh....and who wants to be a fly on the wall when I get to the UPS location tomorrow. Yeah, me too.
THEN I decide FUCK IT- time to workout and OF COURSE someone is on the good treadmill and OF COURSE the other one is broken- again. And the torturous Elliptical machine is a no go cuz my knees are still fucked up from 90 mins of yoga floor work on saturday so I leave and call my friend Tom who is usually great to be grumpy with but he was too hung over from weekend St Pattycaking festivities so no go there so I head BACK over to the gym defying the gods to have someone else be on MY machine....luckily there was not so that is when I decided on the Queen of the Fucked up Princess's to be my poison of the night and I punished myself on the treadmill like I used to eat a gallon of ice cream for dinner when I knew it was killing me. Same mentality- different results.
Why is it when we are already down we seek out ways to hurt ourselves more? Why is it that when we -I- bleed I just want to rip it open and let it pour?
You want dark and fucked up...there it is. Enjoy...Pink would understand what I mean.