Saturday, December 27, 2008


Sunday, December 28, 2008


Current mood: giddy

Category: Life

I am sooooo gonna scream. I just typed out the world's best blog entry (I am certain of it) and it all just disappeared for no damn reason. Ok, my computer programming teacher always joked that it types in faster the second time so we will see if he is right....although if he was here and said that I think I'd have to kick him in the nuts first.

Well there is alot going on in Tracey's brain so I will try to recap with the same technicolor details and brilliance I just did in my last entry which only the little pixels out in cyber space ever got to see (I'm over it, moving on- I swear).

The Diet

As I mentioned today was my doctor's appt at the weight loss clinic. I have been dreading the visit ever since last month when Dr. Flores said she was going to have me take a few weeks off, a few being 6-8 which sounds like forever when you are trying to hit a goal. I was fully preparred to try and get her to come down to just 4 weeks but she had her devious plan all laid out- damn her! I told her that I feel like I have gone through rehab and have been living in the Halfway House. That has been going well, plenty of tempation around but I am "working the program" and sticking to my guns. Now I am being told I have to (temporarily) move out of the Halfway House and into th "real world". This is a very very scary place and one I have never even visited. Never in my life have I ever eaten a healthy diet. I have no idea what that looks like. I am all safe and secure here in my world of this diet. It has rules and structure and I know what to do and what to expect. The real world is vast and scary and it sets you up to fail with every option.

But, this isn't their first time at the rodeo and Dr. Flores had a plan for me. Basically I am going to be going from 800 calories a day to 1200. I should still lose at that level but not a quickly and will give my body a breather after shedding 158 lbs (**update) in 9 months. I will still be going in to weigh in once a week so they can monitor me and I so weigh myself every morning (and who ever thought I'd be a person who hoped on the scale first thing each a.m.- one guess...not me!)
How will I do this? Over the next 2 weeks I will first add in lunch and then breakfast to my know, like "normal" people eat. Weird.

Lunch....doesn't sound scary does it? It sounds like a perfectly friendly meal that just sits there in the middle of the day waiting for you. A meal so umremarkable that if you aren't watching the clock you might miss it. So why is lunch such a hugh step for me? Well for starters I haven't had lunch since March- literally. And I mentioned the plan the doctor gave me right?
Here is the sample lunch they list for me:

Peanut butter and jelly sandwich on two slices of lite bread with 2 tbsp peanut butter and 2 tsps jelly
1 C raw salad greens
2 tbsp reduced-fat salad dressing
8 floz water

Ummm, show of hands the last time you had a salad with your PB&J?? Anyone? Yeah, me neither....not that I would know I guess but really now...salad? Really?? And what happens if I mix up my tbsp and tsp's?? Yeah, so like anything I am going to have to take what they give me and try to bend it to what works for me. Should be interesting...stay tuned.
I was actully thinking of grabbing some of the Scottsdale (aka- rich trophy wives) Ladies who Lunch to ask some advice. These chicks have made lunch into an all day artform and they are all skinny bitches. They gotta know something the rest of us don't!

I also have to keep a food journal so I can get a feel for how many calories a day I am eating and what a "normal, healthy" diet looks like. As I clearly have no clue about this I was a very good little solider and went right to Border's (love gift cards) after my appt and bought "The Dieter's Diary" (with places to record every calorie consumed every day) and "The Ultimate Calorie, Card & Fat Gram Counter" (cuz seriously, haven't a clue here) as well as the American Heart Association's "Low Fat Low Cholestrol Cookbook" (at least it will looks pretty on my shelf, I don't cook- sue me). Tools for battle my friends, make no mistakes.

My days will now look like this:

7:30 am- shake (what I am doing now)

10 am- soup or cookie

12 pm- lunch (???)

2 pm- cookie

4pm- cookie

6ish pm- dinner (same as now)

Next week we add in breakfast which will be a whole other thing. I have never been a big breakfast person even though I understand that it kicks starts your metabolism, yadda yadda yadda....we will see how that goes but that is next week's problem.

Dr. Flores is also going to see about getting my some referrals for a nip/tuck. I am really freaked out about that as I have never had any surgery or ever been hosptialized but there is not way around the fact I am going to need it and I won't feel "done" until it happens. This will be Phase II and frankly is tomorrow's problem but just throwing it out there as it is part of the Master Plan. Phase I is to reach my goal weight of 145 by the end of June. This "break" put a curve into my schedule but I should still be able to hit it by then. The end of June even adds in a bit of wiggle room as I know the last few pounds will be the hardest to get off. That seems as unfair as loosing weight in your boobs first. Someone, somewhere has a real sick sense of humor I gotta say.

Ontop of all this change today was Dr. Flores last day. She was very cute and actually pouted a bit at the thought of not keeping up with me but I gave her my info so we can keep in touch and she may even be reading this blog right now (hi!). She is great and I will miss her but I feel ok about this new plan....until I start it tomorrow that is...

I have to throw this in sidenote if you will....I went shopping today (had to use a coupon, yes I did too have to!) and I got some new clothes. I am now wearing size 14/16. Now this is remarkable because I don't ever remember wearing size 14/16 ever. Pants and shirts for the record. It just makes such a difference wearing clothes that fit. I tried them on thinking they would be snug but yay- they fit! Another step in thr right direction and I am giving away faster than I am buying new because I have no intention of ever going back!

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