Tuesday, November 18, 2008
Let them run free
Current mood: exhausted
So it's finally happened....I knew it was a risk when I started this blog that at some point someone might get upset with what I write and now it has come to pass. This is sacred space to me where I can come and pour out the toxic thoughts that have literally posioned and killed people I love. This is where I can -in a safe place- give voice to those dark thoughts and release them so I can move on and maybe get some support along the way. What you read here tends to be my extremes, that is what drives me to write and to detox so yeah, if all you knew of me was this blog you might worry about my mental health and attitude and...whatever else. The truth is that 80% of the time I am fine but its that 20% that talks here. I guess that is where I give you guys some credit to realize this and know that there is plenty of OK stuff, there is some good stuff and yeah...there is plenty of bad.
Again, I appreciate the support and concern but please know that I am, will and do ask for help when I need it and if I post something here it may be a reaction to a specific event and part of me processing it and getting over it -is to post. It may not be how I feel an hour, day or week later but it was my honest emotion and reaction at the time. This is my inner chatter and where my dark thoughts (and some fun silly ones too) can run free. I am sharing it with you hopefully not to be judged by it but to give you some insight into my journey and what I struggle with on a daily basis. I own and take responsibility for everything I write here. I have chosen to do it to be 100% transparent about everything I am going through but if you have questions or concerns it is up to you to ask me about it directly. God knows I am not shy!!
So now because of all this drama my head hurts and I just want to crawl into bed. No need to send medics, just try to understand me.