Saturday, August 22, 2009

I demand a recount....

Seriously, I am pretty sure we either got shorted some days or else we got put into some time vortex. All I know it I have little to no clue what has happened in the last 2 months. Everything is just this huge blur and I just can't believe August is almost over.

That being said I am excited for a brand new fresh month to start off with a clean slate. This summer has been one of the best and worst of my life- and for those of you playing the home version of my life know that is saying something!!

The bad is obvious- losing my job and have some pretty major personal issues (yes, still not revealing that bit but it adds an air of mystery though- non?) Battling unemployment (frigging JOKE- never in my life used it and then when you do you get treated sub-human for needing it), weeding through the interview process (and again, kinda my world so you'd think I would have had a bigger clue, you would be wrong) and the financial crunch (ongoing but my worries were greatly lessened by a loan from my Daddy and support from Chris).

But there has been some good news as well.....hmmmm. Let me see if I can remember what good happened? Oh yeah- I met and fell in love with the man of my dreams. Poor guy, if he only knew the rollercoaster ride he was signing up for when he hooked up with the likes of me. He seems to not mind so much and I haven't been able to scare him away yet so that bodes well for me at least- for him, just means he is in for a hella lot more of Traceyness in his life. I am just so excited for what lies ahead for us. I don't think smooth sailing is likely but I am hoping the challenges get to be a little less bumpy and the highs we get are from climbing up to the next peak, not clawing our way out of the ravine we just broke our asses on.

And as much as the whole looking for a new job sucked -and took waaaay too long for me (yes I know plenty of people are still looking but I am a want it NOW kinda gal, sue me)- I did know I would find something at the end I would be excited about. I am VERY excited to start the new gig on Monday. Ironically it is in the same building I working in 4 years ago. Life is full of turns that lead you right back to where you were it seems. It is totally out of the staffing and recruiting biz and as passionate about recruiting I am I am so relieved to get out of it for awhile. It is just so draining right now and such a struggle. It's time to give it a rest and go play in a new sandbox for a bit.

I am most excited about getting back into a routine. Having my schedule so outta whack has not been good for my workout routine plus with everything happening it has just made it hard to get into that rigid plan I had been working. I did finally get back to yoga class today and it was much much needed. My regular instructor was back which was great- she had been gone the last 2 classes I attended and I think anyone who goes to a regular class can attest to the fact that subs are ok but you get used to one persons style and its hard to switch. Especially since I am craving "my" routine back so much- it was nice to do my regular Saturday thing. Yoga, grocery shopping (I am busy buying more "staple" ingredients so Chris doesn't have to be so McGyver like when he cooks at my house) then laundry and cleaning......normal stuff that bust people do. Ahhhh routine, nevre underestimate the power of keeping to a schedule.

I can tell things are getting a bit back to normal cuz I had a whole "I hate how my body looks" meltdown today. The struggle continues....won't bore you with the details but it all started in yoga when my arm flap covered half my face as we were doing a side bend- and no, I am not even kidding. At least that is a frustration I know and can somewhat deal in a weird way it was comforting to have the same old rant roll through my head.

So as I sit here doing my best to grab the reigns of my life again and get this horse and buggy headed in the right direction I am hoping for a little bit of peace in the next few months. It is my life so I know crazy shit will happen....cuz that is just how I roll....but it WILL be (to think is to create) fun, creative, and filled with love and adventures of the very best kind. I will be in a better place financially and plan better for rainy days and pay forward all the support and good vibes that were sent my way these past few weeks. I am so grateful to be coming out of this tunnel and once again I am a bit bruised, battered and broke down but I am stronger, wiser and I have a wonderful new partner holding me close and lifting me up every chance he gets.

Could be worse.... ;)


Chris George, The CI Guy said...

There is an old saying that we use a lot that when life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade. Tracey has been dealt so many lemons she's expanded that to include lemon tarts, lemon meringue, lemon drop squares, lemon-scented polish, lemon liquors and lemon-and-sugar crepes (figuratively, of course.) As someone who holds her deeply in my heart I want to personally thank everyone in her life who has leant an ear, a hand, a shoulder, or any other applicable body part or other positive contribution to her life over the last couple of months. To see her perk up when someone has said something heart warming is a blessing to me too because as you well know her smile lights up every room she's in, and I like nothing better than to see each and every variety of smile that girl can beam. Thank you all so very, very much for helping support this wonderful, lovely and loving woman.

Fran Gorde said...

Yes, Tracey's smile does light up a room--- even if you're half way across the country listening to it in her voice.

"..that girl can beam." That might be one of the sweetest things I've ever heard.