Disappointments and Setbacks

I scarcely know where to begin....it has been a batshit crazy week and the hits just keep on coming.

I guess I will go in order of events.

The boy reappeared. Not on a white horse offering to rescue me and take me far far away, oh no. He texted me, the new passive aggressive way to do just enough that it seems like you are making an effort. This was Tuesday night and I had just fallen dead asleep- right around 11pm. The overall theme was he was very sorry that he freaked out (again) and he had some personal issues flare up (again) and he has his family in town so it is hard to slip away and get a private moment to call. He also said he still thinks I am hot and wants to get together.

So on the one hand I know I need to tell this guy to go fuck himself (and I hear you all yelling, "hell ya you do") but on the other hand.....that damn other hand. He is still pretty and shiny and I want very much to play with him. You have to understand where I am at mentally I guess to really know why. It's not about wanting to torture myself (kinda) but he is HOT and he WANTS me.....do you know how long it has been since a guy that smoking wanted me? Ummm, never. Not that the guys I have dated in the past haven't been good looking- some have and some haven't but to me its all about chemistry and who cares what the package looks like. Especially given that I needed people to look past my flaws, who I am I to judge? But this guy? THIS guy is smart, and sexy and there is tons of chemistry between us and he wants me. That is intoxicating and irresistible. I can't let it slip by.

This is not to say that I have gone brain dead because a cute (albeit emotionally challenged) boy likes me. I have dramatically lower my expectations and shields are up. I do think to my past year though and I wouldn't want anyone judging me overall on how I have acted the past few months (emotionally) so perhaps he deserves a chance and some patience.

We will see.....btw, 2 days and no further texts but he did say he wanted to get together next week after work one night. Stay tuned BatFans....

Next up- politicalgate 2009

So the night of the Presidential debate I innocently posted a comment about looking forward to listening to a Presidential address I could actually bear to listen to....who knew that would set off a keg of dynamite??

To be clear, I am a liberal girl. Very blue girl in a very red state. I want gay boys to get married because I don't see how we have the right to tell anyone they have less rights than anyone else. I also think women have the right to chose and we need more programs to help people who need help. And yes, I enthusiastically voted for Obama because I want a change even though I live in AZ so my blue vote didn't even count since we are McCain red here. Blah Blah Blah.....

So a few of my blue friends left comments which is fine- and then the right and the left met on the battlefield and went to town on each other all on MY profile. It was nasty and personal and was like watching the Bill O'Reily show play out on my profile. I went to work and by the time I got home there was over 15 comments all more toxic and hateful than the next. It was crazy....

I spoke to both parties and both said they got carried away and deleted their comments so there is no recap to be given. It is just interesting to me how when challenged how some people take the high road and others lash out and cut where they know it is the deepest felt. I know both parties are intelligent and passionate all I call for is for everyone to respect and honor the different points of view we all have.

Customer service nightmare...

Some of you may have seen my FB status go to Defcom 5 this week and here is THAT story.

Once a year, when I get my tax refund I treat myself to getting a cleaning service. I have done it for 4 years now using the same place each time. I always feel so guilty doing it.My middleclass upbringing kicks in screaming that as I am perfectly capable of cleaning my own damn house that I should do so. Well fuck that, I like getting a maid so I treat myself....let's face it. It is the only way the bathroom will ever be really really clean or the floors will get scrubbed.

So I call and book a cleaning for Thursday. I get a confirmation call on Monday telling me they will follow up on Wednesday to confirm the time. Perfect. I get home on Wednesday and remind myself that I need to put my keep out for the cleaning team when it hits me I never got a call and as I do not live in the highest end neighborhood I did not want to leave a key under the mat for no reason. So I called and they confirmed. No problem but a little annoying I had to call and follow up.

I leave the key under the mat in the am and leave excited at the thought of coming home to a clean house.

I get a call from the maids after I get to work confirming again what I had called to confirm last night. Fine, thanks. Then I get another call where they tell me they are going to send a 3 person team instead of 2 which will cost more but since they will finish quicker it will all shake out, is that ok? Ummm, no. How about you just send me what I booked and not bait and switch me. Then I get call #3 from them telling me they are running late is that ok? I explain that I am at work so as long as it is done before I get home I don't care and stop calling me unless it is urgent!

So I get home.

I look under the mat to grab my spare key. I look. And look. No key....I am freaked out and furious instantly. I unlock my door only to find out it is already unlocked.

I burst into my house and nearly trip over the chair they left in the middle of my floor after stumbling over the rug they had wadded up on the floor. I do a quick scan and while every single thing in my house is not where it is supposed to be nothing seems to be missing.

I call the service and get the owner on the phone. He asks what my keychain looks like and he says he is holding my key and he had just left a vm for his team to ask why they had it and now he knows. He asks me to explain what happened on my end and as I am talking to him I am inspecting my house. Blinds were opened but not dusted (and left all jacked up) sinks were not cleaned. Their dusting method was to swipe around things but not actually move them. The more I saw the madder I got. Needless to say I did not pay for this service, will not be using this service again and I chewed the owners ass until I was kicking a dead horse.

When will people learn to not fuck with me? When that day comes my life will get much better...

And speaking of people fucking with me here is the grand finale of my week.

My diet left me.

I did not leave the diet it left me.

You may recall that I mentioned the diet program was going through changes just as I hit my month of maintenance. What happened was the 2 docs who former Smart for Life split and one took the cookies and is now selling them online (Dr. Siegals Cookie Diet). These are the same cookies I was on but 1200 instead of 800 calories cuz you can't sell a low cal diet like that without direct doctor's supervision. Smart for Life became Natural Weight for Optimized Living and they had to come up with all new product. When I was informed about this I naturally was concerned and they assured me that they could get the old product and continue to help me reach my goal. So I did the maintenance thing and then on 2/8 came back and started the new cookies.

They did not work for me.

As it turns out they are still tweaking their formula and the side effect is the new cookies have too much fiber and caused major constipation issues for me. I would have to take a bunch of laxatives which made me sick and crampy pretty much all month. You can even look back at my blogs and see how my mood and energy have steadily gone down hill all month.

So I have been hounding the center director to call me and talk to me about getting the old product and after many many calls I finally got ahold of her yesterday. She was very defensive about the product and their efforts to fix things and talked over my the whole convo and then she said they are legally not able to supply me with the old product and the only place I can get it from now is New York (and I'd have to pay shipping to get it of course).

So after 10 months and more than halfway to my goal my diet program left me. I didn't quit it- it left me.

My options now are this:

1. get the product from NY at double the cost

2. go on the Dr Siegel cookies which are more calories

3. do what I was doing while on maintenance and do the rest on my own

I am mad, frustrated, freaked out and anxious. I feel like I have been floating on a raft on a lake and now my raft was taken away and I am a long long ways from shore and not a strong swimmer.

I don't know what will happen next.

What I do feel certain about is I probably won't hit my goal by June, which is fine but now its all a big question mark. This is a huge set back and I don't know what is going to happen next.