Ok kiddies, gather 'round cuz Aunt Tracey has a VERY important lesson for you all to learn. I can't take credit for it, that goes to a college friend but I have incorporated this lesson into my life and while it does not fix things sometimes it just helps to put a label on things...
Ready? You may recall back in December I wrote a little post about a couple of guys I had dated and one in particular really got my hopes up....let's call him Bob (cuz that is his name). In my post he was Bachelor #3 and we had a great date, lots of chemistry and made plans to see each other again. Then the next day I get an email saying he has no intention of ever seeing me again. Total bummer but I got over it and while I have thought of him occasionally I had pretty much gone about my business and that was that....or at least it was until Sunday.
On Sunday I am checking my online profile. I have kept it up but don't really do anything with it...and lo and behold, guess who checked my profile? Yup, my hot sexy date from last November. It was cool to see him so I shot him an email saying hi and wishing him well. He replied and we ended up talking and he apologized for "freaking out" before and said he freaked, then felt like an ass for freaking out then was to embarrassed to apologize but has kept my number this whole time and was just waiting for the right time to get back in touch. He said he thought I was sexy and complimented me on my progress since I saw him last as he had been looking at my pics. We talked about what we are looking for- something fun and casual and no drama. Just hang out until it doesn't feel good anymore but be respectful of the other person....basically he showed up out of nowhere and offered me my ideal situation on a silver platter.
We had made plans to go out on Wednesday (hence my happy status updates) but he got called to go out of town on business so we rescheduled for Friday (as in tomorrow). We spoke Tuesday night and all was good. Yesterday I sent a few texts and got one at the end of the day saying he was beat and would call today- no worries, he is working, I totally get it. So today I get a text that he can't do this, sorry things got so serious and oh yeah, he is going to be gone for 3 weeks but we are friends and don't be upset.
I am waiting for him to call to explain this sudden change so while we wait for this to play out let me tell another story....
There is a girl named Jenny. Jenny dated and lived with this guy for over a year. They had a bad break up and she moved out. Several months after she moved out she had some need for her set of spare car keys and realized she had left them at her ex's place. She calls over to ask if he has the keys....yes he does. She asks if she can swing by and grab them....no she can't. WTF? Why not she asks? Because I am going to keep them he says. Why? Are you ever going to drive my car again says she? No, he says. So why do you need my keys? Just because I want them- is his answer.
Ok, step over to the large white board with me if you please.....
On the one side you have a girl and car keys. She needs the keys. He has the keys. He does not want her, but wants to keep the keys.
The gap in logical thinking this example shows is the blah blah blah theory.
I have your keys. We broke up. blahblahblah....I am keeping your keys.
SOMEWHERE there is a reason that makes sense to him. Somehow those things are logical, make sense to the point where it seems no explanation or clarification is needed.
This is the blah blah blah theory. That missing bit of logical that connects bewildering acts.
Back to me....went out with you, think you are hot, kept your number, have had hot steamy convo's and texts all week long....blahblahblah....this is too serious we are friends don't be upset.