I guess it is no surprise that family has been on my mind a lot the past few weeks. This is the time of year when families get closer and plans get made and who is bringing what and blah blah blah....all that good stuff.
The Holidays are bittersweet for me. Moving forward in my life there will always be the shadow of sadness covering them as we come upon the anniversary of losing my brother (New Year's Eve) and this year will be the first year without my Grandma.
My Grandma was all about the Holidays. She would bake and cook for days and the parade of hot pots and bowls and trays of goodies was endless when it came time to pack up all her stuff and bring it over to our house (my mom's house) for dinner. All she ever wanted was all her family together and twice a year she got it and I know they were the happiest moments of her life.
Living so far away I slowly drifted out of the Holiday routine going from barely decorating or celebrating the Holidays to these days, unless I go back to Iowa, I don't celebrate at all. It is just another day to me. That's not to say I haven't gotten plenty of invites to be a guest over the years and occasionally accepted them but its always a bit awkward to be the guest at someone else's family celebration. They never do things the way your family does which a) is just wrong and b)reminds you that you aren't with your family.
This year I will be with Chris and his mom and we will begin our new family celebration. It's going to be weird and an adjustment for us all. I already have been warned that they do Holidays big so I am revving my Holiday motor up.
Still.....it will be different and a little sad. But that's ok and I am sure we will find a way to honor everything that is important to us all about family, old and new.
The important thing is...we are all together in heart if not in body.
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