Friday, July 31, 2009


I swear I never set out to live my life on a razor's edge. I never sought out to have every piece of my life tossed into the air to land like a broken rag doll every few weeks. I really do want some consistency and some peace in my life....someday. But that day is not today.

Ok to catch you all up I am semi-unemployed. I know that sounds weird but what it means is I do still have my job. It is exactly where it has always been however as of last week they stopped paying me for it. I have been working on a draw since I went back to my old job which means I am 100%commision and they pay me a bit of my commisions upfront until I land a sale and get paid. Well as of last week they cut the draw so I am not getting paid anymore. As I said I still have my job and when I close a deal I will get paid off of it but in the meantime I have zero income and zero savings.

Not good.

They waited until Wednesday to tell me this mainly because of my trauma last week they didn't want to add any addtional stress knowing I wasn't doing so hot physically or emotionally. I appreciate that I guess but it did put me a full week behind the 8 ball with no income. Not that anything can be done about it now.....oh well.

So I am still working a few deals I have in the works and will hopefully get paid on the quickly but I have to shift my full attention to getting a new job fast. I had a chat with my mortgage people and it turns out they do still like me to pay my bills if I don't want to be homeless and as great as things are with Chris and I- moving in with him and his mother really isn't part of -my- master plan right now.

It's just so ironic that you get one area of your life set and another goes to hell. I couldn't be happier of more comfortable and content with Chris. I am giddy, silly, heart over heels in love and could float through each and every day just thinking about his soft brown eyes (yes, we are schmoopy and I don't care!). I have never been this in love in my life and I have finally found what my friend DJ told me about after he met his wife. He told me "I never knew it could be so easy" and I have been looking for that sort of love ever since. The kind you can just sink into and let it wrap you up with warmth and comfort. It is so easy to love Chris and I found him and I am going to celebrate us every day. He is truly the love of my life and I can't wait to see him tonight any every night for the rest of my life.

God, if only he was rich!!

Seriously, it would solve so many problems.

Not that we aren't working on several projects to make us and many other people rich and successful but in the meantime I need just a trickle of income.

I really don't have any bad thoughts of feelings about my current (sorta) employer. They gave me a shelter and a solid place to go while I went through the biggest metamorphisis of my life so for that I will always be grateful- still......timing kinda sucks.

So that is the brass tacks of my situation right now. I am working my extensive network and hope to have something locked up by the end of next week so please think happy employed thoughts for me and for all my Phoenix peeps send me those leads!

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