:::tap, tap:::::::
is this thing on?
does anyone care anymore?
Are you still out there?
I wouldn't blame you if you had moved on. I have been hiding out- mostly from myself. Don't get me wrong some amazingly wonderful things have been happening in my life not the least of which is I married the man of my dreams. If that is the only thing I had to report it would be amazing and mind blowing and a lifetime dream come true.
For those of my "friends" on Facebook- you pretty much are up to speed with the pictures and the schmoopiness of all the wedded bliss but this space is for something else- at least today it is. Today this space calls to me to ask the question "Hey Tracey- where did you go?"
Pretty powerful question actually.
I am not sure of the answer.
I feel a bit lost to tell the truth. Somewhere in the last little bit I have lost "ME". I let go of "me" and have kinda of drifted.
It was a conscious choice and very deliberate. I told myself all kinds of reason and excuses for doing it. I needed to focus on helping Chris grow his business. I needed to plan the wedding. I needed to take a break from all the ups and downs and drama that my life had been.....
None of that is the real answer.
The truth is I have been hiding and I feel like I have been losing myself.
I guess part of what is underscoring this right now is going through the process of changing to my married name.
Again- let me be crystal clear. I am happy and thrilled to take Chris's last name as my own. I am very proud of him and excited to be his wife and start creating a new family under the Cayer name. There was never a question of doubt that this was the right choice for me and it is a good thing.
That doesn't mean it's not a little sad for me as well......
It really feels like I am shedding a skin and on the verge of becoming a new person. Tracey Herrick is disappearing....with each account I update I feel she is slipping away a bit more and that is kinda sad. I went through a lot with her and she was always there for me. So as I shed one skin and start looking in the mirror at the new person that is emerging it worries me that I don't know who she is or what she is about.
I don't know what she wants from life, what her passions and dreams are and how she is going to get there.
She is standing there- all blinking and brand new and I am not sure what to do with her.
I guess I will have to take her for a test drive, maybe go out for coffee and talk a bit.
I hope she likes me......
is this thing on?
does anyone care anymore?
Are you still out there?
I wouldn't blame you if you had moved on. I have been hiding out- mostly from myself. Don't get me wrong some amazingly wonderful things have been happening in my life not the least of which is I married the man of my dreams. If that is the only thing I had to report it would be amazing and mind blowing and a lifetime dream come true.
For those of my "friends" on Facebook- you pretty much are up to speed with the pictures and the schmoopiness of all the wedded bliss but this space is for something else- at least today it is. Today this space calls to me to ask the question "Hey Tracey- where did you go?"
Pretty powerful question actually.
I am not sure of the answer.
I feel a bit lost to tell the truth. Somewhere in the last little bit I have lost "ME". I let go of "me" and have kinda of drifted.
It was a conscious choice and very deliberate. I told myself all kinds of reason and excuses for doing it. I needed to focus on helping Chris grow his business. I needed to plan the wedding. I needed to take a break from all the ups and downs and drama that my life had been.....
None of that is the real answer.
The truth is I have been hiding and I feel like I have been losing myself.
I guess part of what is underscoring this right now is going through the process of changing to my married name.
Again- let me be crystal clear. I am happy and thrilled to take Chris's last name as my own. I am very proud of him and excited to be his wife and start creating a new family under the Cayer name. There was never a question of doubt that this was the right choice for me and it is a good thing.
That doesn't mean it's not a little sad for me as well......
It really feels like I am shedding a skin and on the verge of becoming a new person. Tracey Herrick is disappearing....with each account I update I feel she is slipping away a bit more and that is kinda sad. I went through a lot with her and she was always there for me. So as I shed one skin and start looking in the mirror at the new person that is emerging it worries me that I don't know who she is or what she is about.
I don't know what she wants from life, what her passions and dreams are and how she is going to get there.
She is standing there- all blinking and brand new and I am not sure what to do with her.
I guess I will have to take her for a test drive, maybe go out for coffee and talk a bit.
I hope she likes me......
Posts
2 comments:
Hi Tracey,
I am still out here although you may not remember me. I ran across you in a most providential way.
-deborah connery
old recruiter friend from MRI
Deborah!! of course I remember you and think about you often actually. Hope you and the kids are doing well! email me @tracey.cayer@gmail.com or find me on Facebook and we can catch up :)
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